Sunk Costs and Hidden Treasures

Sometimes there are no answers in life only questions.”
Denise Gibbons

If you are a regular reader, you may have noticed that I missed writing last week.  I had an unfortunate incident on the day that I write.  I caused a man to fall off his scooter which caused me to fall off my perch.

I was trying to turn left next to another car turning right and I looked down the road and it appeared clear not realising that the scooter rider was obscured by the car next to me. 

I pulled out, saw him and braked suddenly.  He saw me and as he tried to manoeuvre around my car he lost balance.  He slid along the rode and his scooter fell over and hit my front bumper.

Absolutely stunned, I watched all this transpire in front of my eyes.   Then, it got really weird!  The scooter rider quickly picked up his scooter, started it up, gave me a filthy look, did a U-turn and zoomed down the road away from where it all happened.

I moved around the corner and just sat in my car devastated wondering what I needed to do to make this right.

After lots of reflection and debriefing with family and friends, I realised there was nothing I could do.  I had no way of contacting this person and finding out if they were alright.  I had no way of making good for this unfortunate incident.

Sometimes there are no answers in life only questions.

Also, many times, there are decisions that are forced on us – the ones that feel unfair or the ones where there are no apparent good outcomes.  Falling off my perch over this incident was one of those disappointing outcomes.

How do you proceed when something happens that really sucks?  I was reading Seth Godin’s blog on difficult decisions and I really liked what he had to say.  I’ve taken the liberty to write this here with some of my own comments.

The first step is to acknowledge that it really sucks.  State clearly, that it’s not what you hoped for and you’d rather not be in this situation.   You can return to this step as often as you like so long as you don’t get stuck here and ignore the other steps to move forward.

The second step is to acknowledge the sunk costs that occurred because of this difficult decision or life event.  Think about the hard work and/or financial investments you made to be at this position. Now, ignore them.  They’re sunk!  They have absolutely no connection to the decisions you need to move forward.  The cost of repairing my car is sunk!

Outline your options to move forward as your third step.  None of them may be as happy as you’d hoped.  None are perfect.  All involve a measure of discomfort.  That’s what’s on offer so write them out.

As your final step, consider each option based on the future, not the past.  Try and ignore the sunk costs and the sucky situation.  Ignore what you believe you deserve.  Just look at the options and see what offers you the happiest series of future days, weeks and months? Look for the hidden treasures for your future.  Choose that option.  Don’t look back.  Go! Your future life starts from this point in time only!

As a final comment, seek help if you get stuck at any point in this sequence.  An executive coach can often provide an impartial perspective to your situation as compared to business colleagues, family and friends.  They are also trained to help you have your own insights about what will work for the unique you.

I am trained as a Results Trained Executive Coach through the Neuroleadership Institute.  My Women’s Empowerment and Leadership Programs also provide a space for immersion into discovering who you are and what makes you tick.

The next Women’s Empowerment and Leadership program is on 13th and 14th September, 2018.

Reach out and contact me to discuss your needs.